Marriage, Divorce, and the Swinging Lifestyle

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Posted April 17, 2014

I recently re-tweeted an article that talked about how swinging was beneficial to marriages, and that swinging couples had lower rates of divorce. In my haste to forward the article to followers, I did not do my research, and forwarded an article with no statistical basis in fact. I want to correct that mistake today.

Before I address my concerns, I want to first talk about marriage as its own entity.

What is the first thing you usually think of when you hear the word marriage? A wedding? A hot honeymoon romp? Saving money on your taxes? How about the fact that fifty percent of all marriages end in divorce? But wait…Is that a fact? Divorce rate numbers are hard to come by even with intense Google searching. The best analysis I could find came up with not numbers, but predictions and estimations. Where then are these people getting the idea that the divorce rate is fifty percent?

What statistics we do have available do not help us to answer our questions. Marriage and divorce totals by year are released by the government. These numbers are not connected in anyway, as obviously not all couples who divorce in a given year were married in that same year. So what can these numbers tell us? The official numbers from the CDC for 2011 state that for every 1000 people in the United States, there were 6.8 marriages and 3.8 divorces. Notice Anything? The divorce number is half of the marriage number. Could this possibly be where people are getting the idea of a fifty percent divorce rate?

So now we’ve gotten something important out of the way: we don’t know how many marriages end in divorce. How then can we know if taking your spouse to a swingers club every once in a while is better or worse for your marriage? We can’t. And if you take one thing away from this entire piece, let it be that.

Back to the original re-tweeted article. After re-reading the initial article in question, I began to dig deeper through other articles written by the same author. The statements made about swingers and the swinging lifestyle became harder to prove as I read along and was not backed by any data. Traditional statistics may not be able to help us support the swinger lifestyle, but pure speculation is not the answer. So then what? The answer is to realize that regardless of the numbers, a statistic will not shape who we are.

Think about it: if you’re already part of the lifestyle and in a healthy relationship, and official data was released tomorrow that 75% of marriages involving swinging end in divorce, would you stop? Why would you? If you and your partner are in agreement about your sex life, then what else matters? I believe those in the lifestyle community should not be concerned about such numbers. While I do understand their importance from a public relations and awareness standpoint, playing up their significance (playing up the significance of non-existent numbers and facts, mind you) reeks of sour grapes and further alienates the lifestyle community from its monogamous counterpart.

Regardless of whether the statistics ever show the affect of swinging on marriage, people will continue to swing and live the lifestyle. Will there be married couples who swing whose marriage ends in divorce? Undoubtedly. But how can we ever tell if the divorce was caused by swinging and not something else? We can’t. Have fun, enjoy your life, and do what’s best for you and your partner. And if we don’t ever figure out the answer to the statistical questions – well, that will be just fine with me.


Allures Lifestyle Swinger’s Club Hosting New Event

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Posted April 10th, 2014

Allure’s Lifestyle club was one of the first websites that came up during my initial research regarding the swinging lifestyle. So although I have not yet been to one of their events, my experience thus far in the lifestyle has been connected with the Allure’s name. Allure’s Lifestyle is a premier lifestyle club based in the Northern California region.

It was only natural then that when I started this website, I provide information to all of you sexy people out there about Allure’s events. I had a chance to ask some questions of one of their owners as they kicked off a brand new event last Friday April 4th in Sacramento.

NCS: How has the Northern California lifestyle scene been developing over the past few years? Is there a need in the community for more events?

AL: We have been hosting parties in Northern California for 6 years now.  We’ve seen the ebb and flow as more promoters come into the lifestyle scene, and watched a good number of them go, as well as reinvent themselves and return!  We’ve also watched as the “flavors” change…from hotel parties, to club parties, to bar parties, to house parties. It’s been an entertaining living organism to watch and participate in!

Our reason for adding a new location was spurned on directly from our members.  Lifestyle folks wanted a private, more exclusive, more regularly schedule venue on Friday nights.  They wanted it to have the usual quality and upscale feel that Allures events always bring, as well as more intimate vibe…thus our sexy speak-easy was born!

NCS: Each club and night will be a little bit different, but is there a general type of swinger that is found at Allure’s pertaining to experience and/or age?

AL: Allures is a plethora of delicious mixes of ages and stages in life.  Our demographic isn’t age driven as much as it is upscale driven.  Our members and guests attend Allures events because they want to be comfortable yet sexy, and sometimes even “dress up” based on the theme.

NCS: What do you see for the future of Allure’s and swinging clubs in general in the region?

AL: We feel there is going to be a lot of change during the next 12-18 months. As the lifestyle becomes more visible, so will the need to legitimize events. Allures takes pride in the fact that we carry the required business licenses, insurance, bonded security, and certifications to do what we do.


Check out Allure’s next event, Black Light Glow Dance Swinger’s Party

You can view all of Allure’s upcoming events and visit their website at

Swinger’s Clubs in the Seattle Area

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Posted April 8th, 2014

NorCal Swinging is very pleased to announce that we’ve begun to post information for swinger’s club parties in Washington state! New Horizons in Everett, WA is having a sexy game night Wednesday April 9th.

Get out of the house and go have some fun up in the North-West and tell them NorCalSwinging sent you!

For future event dates and for other swinger’s clubs in the Seattle area, click here.

Bay Area Swingers: The Crew going out with a bang!

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-Posted April 5th, 2014

Concord’s Crew is going out with a bang tonight with their final party. We wish them all the best and hope that their adventures continue on elsewhere! If you’ve been fantasizing about an interracial experience or getting some BBC in your life, check out tonight’s event information.

For all of the different parties going down today, click here.